Rumors
by SirPolarBear
Summary: You could always count on the Anti-A.A.H.W. being professional, or at least most of the time. Sanford appreciates this greatly, up until he's given the news that a few rumors are being spread around. He can add two more things to the list of items that he doesn't like: rumors and Deimos' new term for their friendship. A Madness Combat One-Shot.


Sanford shut the door of the locker after stowing his weapons inside. It had been a fairly productive day. As far as the melee lessons were going, things were going fine. In fact, Deimos had been able to catch on well enough, and that was saying something. The kid had had about the skills of a…what was something that was bad at melee? Whatever you wanted to call it, but he had been pretty bad when it came to melee when they first started. After almost two years, however, there had been some definite improvement.

It had been as good a day for training as any. Headquarters was relatively empty that day, and Sanford was happy to take advantage of the extra space. Even the locker room where the agents kept their extra weapons and other miscellaneous training gear was empty, and that was usually the most crowded area out of the whole HQ. Then again, there just weren't as many agents around anymore.

He wiped his hand across his forehead, being met with a bit of sweat. The locker room was a bit stuffy despite being so empty, and he was getting antsy while waiting. Deimos had left for the bathroom almost fifteen minutes ago. Who took fifteen minutes in the bathroom?

Sanford shifted from one foot to the other, letting his mind wander. More and more agents were being dispatched to that mysterious location. There was never a direct city name, never a town name, never even a couple of street names to go off of. It was always just somewhere in Nevada.

Nobody seemed to come back, either. All except for one person, but he was a special case. Hank had always been a special case.

The door with its chipped green-grey paint swung open, and Sanford opened his mouth to greet his partner with a smart remark, but the words stuck in his throat.

Speak of the devil.

Hank strode into the room, his boots making almost no sound on the floors as he crossed over to Sanford. He hadn't changed since Sanford had seen him last. Hank was still all clad in black, still sporting that same blank, almost bored expression, and still carrying that air of coldness about him. That air of nothingness.

Suddenly the room didn't feel so stuffy anymore. Sanford felt his back straighten. "Hank."

"San." His old friend nodded in greeting, the blank expression still not leaving his face. Then again, did it ever? Hank had been hardened long ago, had long since turned to the blankness he had now. Most agents always did. It was easier to kill if you could be emotionally detached. Yet being immune to the bad parts of the occupation came with the price of not being able to get that emotional, lively side back, and it was a price Hank had paid time and time again.

Sanford had adjusted quickly, but he liked to think that he could still sometimes have emotion. He liked to tell himself that.

But Sanford didn't like lying to himself, either, so he just kept the idea out of his mind entirely when he could.

"You haven't been here in a while." A while? Hell, it had been almost a year.

Hank merely shrugged. "I've been busy. Special missions out somewhere in Nevada. I'm surprised you haven't been sent out yet."

"The ki—" Sanford shook his head and corrected himself, trying to keep true to his promise of trying to not call Deimos kid anymore. "Deimos still needs some work with melee."

"Right. Don't send him out yet then, the place is crazy as hell."

That had to have been the most Sanford had ever heard Hank describe the place. "Yeah."

There was a moment of awkward quiet, that awkward gap of too much time, and then Hank spoke again after clearing his throat. "This isn't why I'm here, but I figured while I am, I might as well ask."

"Ask about what?"

He shrugged again. "I've heard some things."

Some things. There were plenty of things going on, so that didn't make anything clearer. Then again, that wasn't really Hank's style to be big on elaborating. Simple, quick phrases were his thing, not lengthy details.

"Alright, what things?"

"Just some interesting things." Hank looked almost…amused? What was so entertaining to him?

"I get it, some interesting things. What kind of things?"

"Now, I'm not assuming anything."

He was dragging this out on purpose now, wasn't he? Sanford tried not to look irritated as he nodded. Hank knew patience wasn't one of Sanford's strengths. Hank might have been blank and cold, but he would still do this. Maybe it was just his sense of humor or something, however annoying that sense might be.

"What kind of things? How does this even concern me?"

"Well, then."

"Well?"

"You know, you've been partners with Deimos for about three years now."

"I know that, what of it?"

"You know, most agents generally switch partners pretty frequently, depending on their missions."

"Yes, so?"

"So it looks like people have seen that you two are sticking together."

Sanford still couldn't figure out what Hank was trying to hint at. "We haven't been told to switch yet."

"No, yeah, I know. People are just saying that, well…"

"Well?"

"That you don't want to switch."

Could Hank try to make sense here? Of course Sanford didn't want to switch partners. Working with Deimos had ended up being fine. Besides, they got their work done nice and efficiently. If they didn't, they would have been made to switch partners a long time ago.

Even if he was an annoying little asshole sometimes, Sanford didn't mind him. They had had a rocky start, sure, but things were better now. They were friends. Deimos had to be the closest thing to a best friend he had.

"I don't."

Hank looked to be barely suppressing a smile, amusement alight in his normally dead eyes. "Alright, then."

"What's the big deal about it?"

"I'll be straight with you." Hank stopped to chuckle at some sort of thought. "It isn't any of my business, and I don't give a damn either way, but you know it's discouraged among agents. I think the higher-ups are going to notice soon enough. You two do everything together. I haven't seen you walk around without that kid trailing behind you like a damn puppy."

Discouraged among agents? "I don't get what you're trying to say."

Hold up, discouraged among agents? Friendships were always fine, but…

The answer hit him like a ton of bricks. Sanford clenched his jaw, feeling the heat rise up into his face and his eyes first widen, and then narrow slightly. He had to be joking. Hank had better be joking. His hands curled into fists.

"You have got to be shitting me if you think for a second that I'm—"

He was cut off when a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind, holding him tightly in an embrace. "Why, hello-o-o-o! What are we talking about?"

Hank's hard, cold mask broke and he didn't even bother to hide his amusement. "Well. I guess I'll just leave you two, then."

Sanford felt his face redden even more in anger as he tried to shove Deimos away. "Hank, I'm not! That's a stupid rumor!"

But Deimos wasn't going to let it go, he quickly saw. He must have heard it all. The look on his face surely made it seem like he had.

Sanford's face twisted into an expression of mortified anger as the little punk wrapped his arms around him again. "Rumor? What rumor?"

Hank almost snorted. "It seems like it's not a rumor, now, is it? I'd better go meet with the Higher Powers, now—"

"Hank, I swear to god, this isn't what it looks like!" Sanford tried to shake his younger partner off of him, but Deimos had an iron grip on him. "He's messing around! I don't swing that way!"

"Messing around?" Deimos asked, trying to feign innocence but the façade quickly being broken as a smug grin spread across his face. He just held Sanford even tighter. "I'm not messing around!"

"You will never see daylight again if you don't let go of me in three seconds, you little fu—"

Deimos planted an overly sloppy kiss on his partner's cheek and stepped back, grinning even more. "Sanford, don't be so ashamed."

Sanford's face was so red with fury it looked as if it was about to burst. "I'm going to kill both of you. Slowly."

"San, you know we have an awesome bromance going."

"What the hell is a bromance—you know what, I don't care what it is, I don't want it with you."

"Too late."

"Does it involve your disgusting spit getting all over my face again?"

"God, lighten up. It was a joke. Hank knows it's a joke."

Deimos gestured towards Hank, who was still trying to stifle a smile. "I'll just leave you two to your…bromance…then."

Before Sanford could open his mouth to snap back a reply, Hank had turned and gone out the door and down the hall. At that point, yelling after him would just create an unnecessary scene.

Sanford was silent for a minute, fuming and refusing to look at the grinning man next to him who was all too satisfied with his joke. Finally, after a long while of silent cursing, Sanford opened his mouth to speak, but not before Deimos cut in.

"Bromance."

**Author's Note: The inspiration for this one was pretty random, but the idea amused me enough, so I figured I might as well get it out onto a word document. This one I actually rewrote about three times, even though the idea was really clear in my mind. But either way, it's finally finished! Besides, I figured there should be something between the slash and straight fics with Sanford and Deimos, and the result is a best friend bromance. xD Thanks for reading!**

***insert bromance song reference here***


End file.
